These three young ladies, smart, accomplished and intelligent, had one more thing in common. Marrying an NRI seemed inevitably the only route towards the fulfillment of their dreams. The Indian mindset is such that people are convinced that the brightest and the smartest men always head towards western countries, where their intellect is appreciated and rewarded. Material comfort, economic security when added to the brand value linked to living overseas, becomes the dream of every parent for his daughter.But is it as simple as marrying in India, and life abroad a cakewalk? Not really, as the contrast between lifestyles in India and other countries is too much to be taken lightly.
NRIs or Non Resident Indians are those fellow countrymen who have stepped beyond Indian soil in pursuit of a job, build a career, or start a business. Whatever the assignment, working abroad certainly means more money, greater recognition of talent and dignity of labor, an excellent work environment along with immense job satisfaction, success coming much quicker than it would anywhere in India. That a dollar or euro salary helps afford good lifestyles, is also a consideration. It is the best option for a generation that likes to work hard and play hard. Back in India, they command a new kind of respect, doors open for them, and heads turn with a look of awe and admiration from all around.
This may seem like a bed of roses, but it comes with its fair share of thorns. The flip side to marrying abroad, can turn out to be a traumatic experience for young ladies oblivious to the harsh realities that stare at them once they leave India.
The first step is to meet an eligible bachelor working abroad, and liking him enough to say yes to the long-term commitment called marriage. Men living overseas have spent many years alone, establishing careers without any family support or comfort. They succumb to familial pressures for matrimony, but have definite ideas about what they would like in a life partner.
The Indian system of marriage is quite different from the west. While love marriages frequently take place, arranged marriages are more commonplace. An arranged marriage means that parents try to find suitable companions for their children on the basis of family, position and education. It is an age-old belief that children from similar family backgrounds and comparable economic positions are likely to have a more successful married relationship. Moreover, Indian society being conservative, till very recently, it did not give boys and girls the liberty to move about socially where they could get an opportunity to meet suitable partners. Parents are particularly strict with daughters, seldom permitting them to socialize unescorted. This naturally meant that the probability of young people meeting prospective life partners was very low. The task of finding a life partner has been the prerogative of the parents and relatives, and matchmaking quite an interesting assignment. This generations-old tradition has also been based upon common belief that children are too naïve and immature to decide who would make a good life partner for them, and therefore, the task should be handled by mature elders. Initially, the boy and girl in question were not even asked whether or not they liked the person chosen for them. Over the years this has changed, and the boy and girl meet and even go out together, quite like the west. As a friend puts it," people all over the world, meet, fall in love and decide to marry; in India, the boy and girl meet, marry and then fall in love!" Marriage is serious business in India, and considered to be a lifelong commitment. Divorce and separation are frowned upon, and even the courts of law try to resolve issues of marital discord to preserve the relationship and restore normalcy in the family. This is the rationale behind parents choosing prospective marriage partners for their children.
NRIs or Non Resident Indians are those fellow countrymen who have stepped beyond Indian soil in pursuit of a job, build a career, or start a business. Whatever the assignment, working abroad certainly means more money, greater recognition of talent and dignity of labor, an excellent work environment along with immense job satisfaction, success coming much quicker than it would anywhere in India. That a dollar or euro salary helps afford good lifestyles, is also a consideration. It is the best option for a generation that likes to work hard and play hard. Back in India, they command a new kind of respect, doors open for them, and heads turn with a look of awe and admiration from all around.
This may seem like a bed of roses, but it comes with its fair share of thorns. The flip side to marrying abroad, can turn out to be a traumatic experience for young ladies oblivious to the harsh realities that stare at them once they leave India.
The first step is to meet an eligible bachelor working abroad, and liking him enough to say yes to the long-term commitment called marriage. Men living overseas have spent many years alone, establishing careers without any family support or comfort. They succumb to familial pressures for matrimony, but have definite ideas about what they would like in a life partner.
The Indian system of marriage is quite different from the west. While love marriages frequently take place, arranged marriages are more commonplace. An arranged marriage means that parents try to find suitable companions for their children on the basis of family, position and education. It is an age-old belief that children from similar family backgrounds and comparable economic positions are likely to have a more successful married relationship. Moreover, Indian society being conservative, till very recently, it did not give boys and girls the liberty to move about socially where they could get an opportunity to meet suitable partners. Parents are particularly strict with daughters, seldom permitting them to socialize unescorted. This naturally meant that the probability of young people meeting prospective life partners was very low. The task of finding a life partner has been the prerogative of the parents and relatives, and matchmaking quite an interesting assignment. This generations-old tradition has also been based upon common belief that children are too naïve and immature to decide who would make a good life partner for them, and therefore, the task should be handled by mature elders. Initially, the boy and girl in question were not even asked whether or not they liked the person chosen for them. Over the years this has changed, and the boy and girl meet and even go out together, quite like the west. As a friend puts it," people all over the world, meet, fall in love and decide to marry; in India, the boy and girl meet, marry and then fall in love!" Marriage is serious business in India, and considered to be a lifelong commitment. Divorce and separation are frowned upon, and even the courts of law try to resolve issues of marital discord to preserve the relationship and restore normalcy in the family. This is the rationale behind parents choosing prospective marriage partners for their children.
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